The Problem with Christmas
by Terriah
Summary: "If this was my last night with the woman I loved, I'd tell her. Cause I'm really not sure that she knows." Thoughts of the Doctor as he attempts to negotiate the holiday season, concluding the end of a Christmas Carol. 11xAmy


**The Problem with Christmas**

**Thoughts of the Doctor as he negotiates the holiday season. Just a little fluffy drabble to keep people happy**

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The problem with Christmas is that it brings to light all the things you've been keeping under wraps. All the little secrets. Just because there are things you have to do at Christmas.

I.

December 1st and the Doctor thinks this as he watches Rory at the perfume stall of the underground market on Sigourex. Big nose is faffing and sniffing not sure what to buy. The Doctor smiles to himself because he knows exactly which he would buy her. None being the answer because when Amy appears covertly beside him he knows that no perfume could compete with smell that was just Amy. Like eating strawberries in a field on a sunny day. She eyes Rory suspiciously and tells the Doctor to go help him find something more appropriate. The Doctor says no and that it's Rory's responsibility. Amy looks at him in surprise and the Doctor wonders if she knows why.

II.

On December 10th he watches as she bites into a mince pie and makes him think that perhaps she does know how he feels. Hey eyes are bright and merry as she tries to smile with a full mouth. Those eyes that widened as he leans into to brush a crumb from the corner of her lips. His thumb lingers perhaps a second too long and she swallows the pastry quickly to ask him something. But he jumps away to shove another pie into Rory's mouth. Her eyes follow him for the rests of the day, a question waiting in them.

III.

It's December 15th and they play in the snow on Fringlo Minor where the snow is dry so you never get wet. Rory has a cold and has stayed inside in bed. Amy looks free as a bird as she spins around in the flurries that fall around her. She stops when a snowball hits her in the face. She wipes the snow off slowly and the Doctor is treated to her _You're going to get it _face_. _He runs quickly in the opposite direction but is soon pelted with a wonderful over arm snow cannon to the back of the head. They stay out and play for hours building snowmen and forts but never snow angels. They collapse together against the TARDIS door and observe the winter wonderland before them. He wants to tell her he's so glad that she's here and that it is her that he's shared this with. But he doesn't have to cause she says it for them, wrapping her arms around his middle and leaning on his shoulder. He squeezes her arm, wishing that this was for him to do before whispering that she should check up on Rory. She stiffens against him and then disappears inside. He folds his head into his hands and wishes for another season.

IV.

December 21st, the night before she would leave him for her honeymoon cruise with Rory. The Doctor sighs because it was his idea and he hates the thought that she won't be with him. He kicks the console aimlessly until a hand presses gently on his shoulder. Amy stands behind him, a small parcel in her hand.

"Merry Christmas," she whispers smiling. He tells her he'll save it for Christmas day so he has something to look forward to. She mocks a frown and reminds him that they'll be back for Christmas Dinner and that it's only for 3 days. He shrugs and nods, then apologises for not having anything for her. She murmurs quietly that he has given her enough. The Doctor frowns to himself then hears the TARDIS hum gently and he looks up. A hologram of a sprig of mistletoe hangs in mid air above them. Amy looks up too and then laughs. She leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek. She turns to leave but the Doctor is having none of that, pulling her back towards him.

"I do have a present for you after all," he whispers before pressing his lips to hers. She gasps slightly and the Doctor takes advantage of her parted lips to deepen their kiss. It lasts for a few seconds before Amy pulls away, confused and worried. The Doctor breathes a little heavier, his lips tingly from where hers had been. They stay for a while just watching each other before Amy walks quietly away.

V.

It's Christmas Eve and they sit side by side on the circular window frame looking up at the moon. The Doctor reaches down and takes her hand.

"I just want you to know," he says slowly and carefully, raising her hand to lips, "That if this was the last night I had with the woman I loved, I'd tell her I loved her. And have done for the last year. Cause I'm not entirely sure she knows." Amy can't look at him and presses her other hand to her mouth to mask the sob that threatens to escape. The Doctor smiles sadly and continues to watch the moon.

"She's not mine to love. And I cannot hope that she will ever be mine. But I can dream of the places I'd take her and the things that we'd do." He glances across at her and marvels at her beauty that the moonlight did enhance. "But I hope that night never comes. Because it would mean that it would be our last together. And I never want that."

Amy removes her hand from her mouth and presses it to his cheeks. She attempts to smile through her tears and presses her lips gently to his.

"Perhaps there'll be days before then that you can tell her," she whispers as she pulls away. Amy stands quickly and leaves the Doctor there on the window frame.

He sighs and then cocks his ear as he hears a chime ring out, followed by eleven others. It must now be Christmas day. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his present from Amy. Quickly removing the paper reveals a packet of powdered custard. Taped to the back of the packet is a small handwritten note that makes his heart soar and mouth grin.

"_Wait for me? I'll be just 5 minutes…._

_However long that may be._

_I love you._

_Amy._

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**I know it's drabble but it made me smile and lift the end of Christmas blues **

**Reviews are of course always welcome!**

**Terriah.**


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